So I begin my adventure and make my way to Prof. Elm's Lab. On the way there, my Mom gives me the PokeGear. She asks m if I know how to use the phone, and even though I tell her yes, she explains it to me anyway. Foolish parents, they never listen, and they think they know everything, don't they? Anyways, I reach the Lab and Prof. Elm tells me that a friend of his, Mr. Pokemon, has made an interesting discovery, and wants me to go check it out for him. But wait! There's tall grass on the way there! How will I ever make it past all those mean Pidgeys that want to steal my lunch money? Luckily for me, Prof. Elm is nice enough to give me one of three newly discovered Pokemon! Now I don't know about you, but I'm standing there thinking, if it's newly discovered, wouldn't you rather keep it for yourself so you can properly study it? As I survey my choices, I decide on Cyndaquil. Why? Because Cyndaquil is the best. 2nd Gen is the only gen where I do not pick the grass starter, and I do not dislike water the most. Why? Because the water starters are often cutesy and dumb looking until they evolve (Oshawatt and Piplup anyone?) But Totodile is a complete bad-ass. I mean, he's a freaking crocodile. And Feraligator holds a special place in my heart as the first Pokemon I ever trained up to Lv 100 without a single Rare Candy. And as for the grass types, they're all epic but Chikorita. I hate that thing, it's just foolish and stupid looking. And for some reason, I just love Cyndaquil, even though I'm normally indifferent or don't like the fire starters either. Oddly enough, Cyndaquil is even my favorite starter out of all 15 of them. Oh, and in this game Thunder Punch is not only a TM, but a Special Attack, so once I get my hands on it he'll be unstoppable!



Anyway, I nickname him Mario, because Mario is the best, just like Cyndaquil, and I'm on my way, or so I think. His Aid stops me to give me a Potion. Please, I'm a pro. I've had this Cyndaquil for over 10 seconds, I think I can handle it. Now I'm on my way for real, and to my surprise, on Route 29 I encounter a Hoppip first. Again, I've never played Crystal, so I was like WTF? Hoppip at the beginning? Not that I had anything to catch it with, nor did I want a Hoppip for anything but to spam Splash until it's secret .000000000000000000000000000001% accuracy and a power of OVER 9000! kicks in a kills everything I will encounter for the rest of the game, so I press on. Nothing exciting happens until I reach Cherrygrove City, when this random old foolish dude wants to show me around town. There's like 4 buildings here, is it really possible for me to get lost? And the PokeCenter and PokeMart are labeled, I think I can tell them apart. Regardless, he gives me a Town Map app, so I guess that will help me keep track of where I have and haven't caught Pokemon. Again, nothing special happens until I reach Mr. Pokemon's house. Once inside, Mr. Pokemon hands me a Mystery Egg, and then Prof. Oak rambles on about how I'm a talented trainer. Of course, I already knew this. He then gives me the PokeDex and that fool then makes his way to Goldenrod so he can do his overrated Talk Show that no one really listens to, it just gets high ratings because he's famous. So I leave, and my phone rings. It's none other than that fool, Prof Elm. He tells me someone broke in and stole one of his Pokemon. Now, either Prof. Elm is a fool for not using the other Pokemon to stop him, or the thief is a fool for not taking both. I'm going with C, they're both fools.

I go back to Cherrygrove and heal Mario and try to get back to Prof. Elm's to stop the robber. But on my way out of Cherrygrove, some red-headed fool runs into me, saying how I'm weak and he's strong because he also got a Pokemon from the lab. Instantly, I know this fool must be the robber, and I can take him. So I'm like, "Please, fool! I've been with my Pokemon for a full 10 minutes! You stole yours a mere 40 seconds ago and you think you can stop me? Pfft!" So we engage in battle. This fool took the total bad-ass, Totodile, which I unfortunately now have to kill. Sorry Totodile, but maybe Elm should have helped you, eh? With Mario being Lv 9, I know I got this in the bag. To my dismay, Tackle misses almost every turn and I win with a mere 1 HP left. I also forgot that I had Potions since I normally never use them at all, so good thing Mario lived or I would had to start all over already. Since this is a Nuzlocke Challenge, I'll have to actually use them for once I suppose. What a complete waste of 10 minutes of my life that would have been? Kinda like typing this massive blog that no one will read. And think, this is only Chapter 1. Anyway, I barely manage to beat this nameless fool, and he runs off like a butt-hurt loser, Johning about how there was too much Button Lag or something like that. I go back to Prof Elm's, who is being ruthlessly interrogated by the police. He then turns on me as if I'm some sort of suspect, but luckily Prof. Elm knows who I am, and he doesn't even bother to ask me any questions. The police officer finds out I just battled the trainer who stole the Pokemon, and asks for his name. Obviously, the their was none other than Fool, I tell he officer. He thanks me for the information, I pray that Fool gets assaulted by the cops. He's such a jerk. Being the fool he is, Elm quickly forgets he just lost a very rare new Pokemon that he has yet to study, and asks what Mr. Pokemon had for him. When I show him the egg, he jumps back in astonishment, or maybe he was just trying to not jizz all over it. He tells me it will take time to study, and that I should go challenge the 8 Gyms of Jhoto and destroy the Elite 4, putting those fools in their place. As usual though, he does nothing to help me do this on my way out, and it's up to his Aid to give me some PokeBalls so this goal is actually obtainable. It would seem that his Aid is the only person in Jhoto who isn't a fool.

With my journey just kicking off, I go home to let my mom know where I'm going, because if I don't she'll just call me later and yell at me for not telling her, even though I'm 10 years old, which is clearly old enough to begin traveling the world on by myself. She asks me if I can send her some money to save it, but I know parents, they never spend your money on you want, only what they want. It's better off in my hands so I can buy some useful supplies down the road, like the many Potions I will need to survive this challenge. I may haste away from my Mom and towards 29, and once I get there some dude wants to show me how to catch Pokemon, and won't let me say no. Jerk. Anyway, he captures a Lv 5 Rattata, at 100%, with a single PokeBall. Pro. I leave, still in shock at his brilliant performance. I encounter some Wild Pokemon, but since I've already been here and found Pokemon before, I'm not allowed to catch them. Instead I make my way north to the dead-end Route 46. Once here, Immediately encounter a Lv 2 Geodude and sadface because I was hoping for a Jigglypuff and all it's Jiggly Puffness. Oh well, Geodude will come in handy for the first 3 Gym Battles. The battle drags on as it spams Defense Curl, and Mario's Tackle does a mere 1 damage with each hit. Finally, it's weak enough and I throw a Pokeball and capture it. I give it the nickname Whomp, despite Whomps being flat and Geodude is round. Looking back, perhaps Cleft would have suited it better, but I can always change it when I get to Goldenrod.



I go back to Elm's to heal Whomp and Mario, and then begin training. Despite Whomp's resistance to Normal, he is constancly almost defeated by Lv 3 Pidgeys and Sentrets until he finally reaches Lv 4. I train Whomp to Lv 10 to be even with Mario, and continue my journey. I reach Route 30 and, once again, can't catch anything. Now that I think about, I also still never bought any Potions. Anyway, I defeat all the fools who dare oppose me and I reach Route 31. Hoping for something good, I make my way into the tall grass and I encounter... A Lv 5 Bellsprout! Good, I was hoping for anything other than Caterpie and Weedle. Not that I hate them, I just wanted something better. I easily capture Bellsprout, only needing one Tackle attack to weaken it. I nickname it Petey, for lack of a better plantlike Mario species that resembles Bellsprout. I know there's one kind of Piranha that can walk like Bellsprout, but once it evolves it will float, so the name wouldn't be as accurate.



I go onto Violet City to heal Petey, and then go back to Dark Cave, figuring I would find a Zubat easily. Nope! Good thing I already have a Geodude, because I ran into about 10 of them before I finally a Lv 2 Zubat. Not wanting to accidentally OHKO it, I am forced to use Petey, which at this point is now Lv 9. Petey manages to slowly weaken it, but it only has 10 PP for Vine Whip, and Zubat still had about 20-30%. I threw a PokeBall, and caught it. Seeing as this Zubat is male, I am able to give it the epic nickname of Sir Swoop. Again, I heal my Pokemon, and real training foolishness begins.



Petey may have only had 10 PP, but at least there were Geodude's to fight. With Zubat, you only get 15 PP on a move with like 15 Base Power, and no STAB. My only option was to fight the Rattata in Sprout Tower. So I go in, and first I catch one of them, which was Lv 5, and name it Rat Funk.



Next, I begin training. Sir Swoop is only Lv 2, so at first I use the good ol' send out a weak Pokemon and switch training method. But once he reaches Lv 6, I let him fend for himself so he gets more EXP per battle. The battles drag on and on, with me having to heal it every 2 or 3 battles simply because he has no PP left. Finally he learns Supersonic, which helps when I run out of PP in the middle of a battle, but is not that reliable. When he finally reaches my target level, 12, to get him even with Mario and Whomp, I rejoice as I'm temporalily done with him. And then he learns Bite. FML. At least Rat Funk was faily easy to train, and Petey was already Lv 10 by this time so a few more Geodudes so he was done too. Now it's time to conquer the tower, and the first Gym.

Now that my training is complete, it's time to battle some trainers. Of course, none of those fools will stand a chance against me anyway. I make my way into Sprout Tower and before I even get to the first trainer, I find a wild Ghastly and remembered something. Ghastly can only be found at night in Sprout Tower. Had I remembered this earlier, I would have waited until I got home from work before setting foot inside so it would have been night, then I could have caught one instead of a Rattata. And apparently it's almost a 100% encounter ratio too since I found about 8 of them before I finally run into Rattata again, so chances are I would have found Ghastly first had I done so. Such foolishness.

Now, as I said before, these fools don't stand a chance. Everyone in Sprout Tower, at least in G/S, only has only Bellsprout, except for two people who also have a Hoothoot for some reason, and they're all only Lv 3 and/or Lv 6. With Mario at my side, this was going to be a piece of cake. It turns out Crystal is not any different, as Mario destroys each and every one of those fools who dare challenge me, even evolving into Quilava along the way. Once I reach the top, I see the police have failed to apprehend that fool, Fool, who is mercilessly beating the Elder. But you know, if you're the police, why would you do anything about it when you can leave it up to a 10-year-old who is just leaving his house for the first time in his life? The Man's lackey's are, as usual, unreliable in every situation. Too coward to face me again, he flees the scene with an Escape Rope. I guess he couldn't stand another defeat at my hands. I guess for a fool, he's completely stupid. Anyway, despite just being defeated by Fool, the Elder somehow has 3 Pokemon with full health to take me on. Don't ask me how, I guess he just has a bunch of Max Revives and Max Elixirs or something. Anyway, that fool once again suffers defeat, this time by me, and I claim my useless prize, HM 05 Flash. Why exactly do they call it HM 05 when they amount of HMs doesn't even go up to 10? Seems like a waste of a data byte to me, no wonder they couldn't fit the Safari Zone into the game like they wanted to.

I leave and heal Mario, who has now leveled up to Lv 15, making for 3 level ups from fighting all those weak fools. Next stop is the Gym. With Whomp at my side, it should be just as easy as Sprout Tower, if not easier. Whomp quickly disposes of the two trainers inside, reaching Lv 13 along the way, but is unable to out speed the Pidgey the 2nd trainer has, and suffers 2 damage. I sadfaced, but arrogantly go right to challenge Falkner without healing him anyway. It's not like this fool stands a chance against me. He goes on about how electricity harming Flying Types is somehow an insult to them, even though it's 100% true. If I had a Pikachu you can bet I'd be using that right now. Our battle begins, and he leads with Pidgey. Like last time, Pidgey out speeds Whomp, but unlike last time, it uses Mud-Slap, lowering his accuracy. Whomp, however, impresses me by still landing a Rock Throw attack, KOing it. Next up is Pidgeotto, who does the same, but Whomp still lands his Rock Throw attack despite his -2 stages of accuracy. Yay for Whomp! I claim my useless prize and leave, only to be interrupted by none other Prof. Elm. Does he really have nothing better to do than stalk some random kid from his neighborhood? Anyway, for once he has something useful to say, I can keep the egg from earlier, and his Aid is in the PokeCenter waiting to give it to me. I claim the egg, and using the power of the Space Bar, I hatch it in about 30 seconds and get a Togepi. I'm unable to come up with a decent nickname though, and I put it in my PC, never to be used. Not that's it's good for much other than Mud-Slap spam and hoping that Metronome gives me Hyper Beam every time I use it anyway. And with that, I continue on my journey, hoping I don't have to encounter any more fools for the rest of my adventure.

Yeah right, like that will ever happen...

So I make my way to Route 32, hoping the first thing I find is a Mareep, which is one of my favorite 2d gen Pokemon for an in game team. To my dismay, I find a Wooper. I weaken it with Sir Swoop and capture it. I struggle to think of a nickname for it though. I spend many frustraiting mintes, trying to think of an aquatic enemy or ally that wasn't a Blooper or a Cheep-Cheep of some kind. Unfortunately, there aren't that many of them. and even though it's female, Eventually I named it Bubba, which is the species of fish that eats Mario in Super Mario 64 in Tiny-Huge Island. The problem with this name is that Bubba sounds kinda manly, but the Wooper is female, so I'm not too happy with the name and I am quite frustrated by it.



After spending some time training it, I defeat all the trainers in my way and reach Union Cave (or at least that's what I think it's called). Going in, I'm pretty sure that the only thing in there to catch that I don't already have is Onix and Sandshrew. I spend a good 30 minutes, holding the space bar, looking for one of those. But all I keep finding is Wooper, Zubat, and Geodude. Enraged, I decide f**k this, and move on.I guess Crystal removed these Pokemon from this cave. By this time, I have now boosted all my Pokemon from levels 13/14 to 16/17, so at least it wasn't a total waste of my time. As I reach the end of the cave, there are but a few steps left before the exit when a wild Pokemon appears. It's Onix. F**k you Onix! You couldn't have appeared a half hour ago before I gave up!? Luckily, my rules allow me to still catch Onix since it's the first Pokemon I found that I don't already have. Hooray. I switch to Sir Swoop, who I'm sure won't be able to KO it and use Bite. Bite reduces it's HP to just under 1/2. Seeing as Leech Life is not very effective against Onix, I use that next. It's a critical hit. Onix is KOed.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~!!!!!!!!!!

I am greatly enraged by this. This game is just filled with so much foolishness that it should be called Foolish Version. I should have stuck with Gold. Pissed off, I leave the cave, and there's some grass outside on Route 32. I spend a few minutes looking and I can't find anything new here, so I quickly give up, take out my frustration on the nearby Hiker, and go to Azela town. There, I see some fools dressed as Team Rocket blocking my entrance to the Gym. I entered a building to the north instead, and the old man who resides inside says those fools are really members of Team Rocket, and they're cutting off the tails of all the Slowpoke, and rushes out to save them. I follow him to the once blocked well, and inside find that he fell through, like the fool he is, breaking his back. There's a ladder there for a reason, use it. Figuring it would be easy to find a Slowpoke, I don't bother looking for one, as it will come to me. By now, my Onix induced rage is almost gone at least, but when I reach the second Rocket Grunt, the worst thing possible happens. Petey leveled up and wants to learn Poison Power. I'm thinking, yez! But then, I accidentally deleted Vine Whip! Vine Whip, the only useful attack Petey will have until it learns Razor Leaf at Lv 37! And that's if I don't evolve it! Now I'm stuck with Wrap and Poison Powder as my only attacks for doing damage!



I panic, and quickly make a save state that does not overwrite my actual save file, and then check when my last save was. My last save state was when I was trying to think of a nickname for Bubba.



Petey's usefulness has just dropped to almost 0, and my last save is too far back for me to want to do it all over. I'm super pissed now. Raging like a lunatic. I decide to take out my rage on the last two Rocket members, and encounter a wild Slowpoke after the first one. Finally, something goes my way. I catch it, and again, can't think of a nickname. I decide on Big Bertha, a fish enemy similar to Bubba, and even replaced Bubba in Super Mario 64 DS. Still raging however, I defeat the last Rocket member, claim my prize from Kurt, and flee the scene. I heal my Pokemon, not that I need to since I plan on only using Mario for the Gym, and I didn't use him at all in the well. Still blinded by fury, I go into the gym, and OHKO everything in there with Mario. The only Pokemon not OHKOed was Bugsy's Scyther, who was instead 2HKOed. I take that fools useless TM, and leave. I heal Mario, and head for the forest, only to be stopped by none other than Fool, who proceeds to call me weak. This time however, he has the guts to try to backup his claim. What a fool, I guess that's why his name is Fool. His f**king Ghastly paralyzes Bubba with only one Lick attack. I quickly realize that, to this point, I still have not purchases one singe item from the Poke Mart. Not one Potion, PokeBall, or even any kind of status healing items. F**k. If it weren't for me finding some PokeBalls on the ground, I wouldn't even have been able to catch Slowpoke. Anyway, Bubba KOs Ghastly with a few Water Guns, and his Zubat is met with the same fate. But then he sends out Croconaw. My battle style, being set to Set, will not allow me to switch at the same time, however, and Bubba is down to 2 HP. I panic and switch to Petey, who I then remember does not have Vine Whip anymore.



I use Poison Powder, which misses several times before finally poisoning Croconaw. I then only have time to use Wrap twice before Petey is also down to a mere 8 HP.



My remaining choices are now Rat Funk, who is very weak defensively and will surely die, Whomp, who will get OHKOed by Water Gun, Mario, who will probably get 2HKOed, and can only hurt it with Tackle, and Sir Swoop. Sir Swoop it is. Sir Swoop comes out, and somehow manages to miraculously take it out with 2 Bites. Sure it was already weakened a bit, but I am still impressed. Butt-hurt, Fool runs away crying for his mommy. I heal my Pokemon, and continue on. Once inside the forest, I hope that now more than even I do not find a Caterpie first. Anything by Caterpie or Metapod. Please let it at least be a Paras! I meet my first wild Pokemon, and it's a Caterpie.



On top of that, it's only Lv 5, so I end up OHKOing it.



F**k this, I return that useless Farfetch'd to it's owner, get my for once not-so-useless prize, and take a break from this rage inducing game.

So my first course of action as I resumed playing was to deleted Petey's Wrap attack and replace it with Cut, which makes him almost useful once more. I needed something with Cut to get through Ilex Forest, anyway. I left the forest to get a Charcoal from that fool who for some reason can't beat a Bug Gym Leader with a Flying Type, even if it won't obey him all the time, and go back in. The first thing I find is a Venonat, and my rage is back in an instant. F**k you Venonat! Why didn't you appear first so I could have actually caught something? Then after that, I find a Psyduck! I didn't even know there were wild Psyduck in here with surfing, and now I'm really mad at that Caterpie for being the first to appear.

Anyway, I go through the forest, get Headbutt, and defeat the trainer that's apparently in here. Must be another Crystal addition since I've never seen him before. I leave and reach Route 34 where I encounter a Drowzee and capture it. But, as with Big Berth and Bubba before him, I struggle to come up with a nickname. Knowing that Hypno is obviously a Hypnotist, I Googled Mario Wiki Hypnotist and get Psycho Kamek as the only result, due to him trying to Hypnotise Luigi in Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga. Psycho Kamek does not fit for a nickname, and I'm not really set on the name anyway, but I decide to just go with Kamek in the end, even though Drowzee is obviously not a turtle, since magic and hypnotism are kinda-sorta related, maybe. I defeat all the trainers in this area as well and then go into the daycare to use the PC and get Kamek out, replacing Petey, for now at least. Now that I actually have more than 6 Pokemon I would like to use, I will regularly rotate them in and out of the PC to make sure they are all evenly trained. This way, if one of them dies, I have a replacement ready to go, without the need to do any training.



For whatever reason, I talked to the Day-Care man and he says he has an egg that he doesn't want. Again, another Crystal addition I was unaware of. I put Kamek back into the PC to get the egg, and talk to the Day-Care lady, and am disappointed that she doesn't have one for me as well. Like last time, I use the awesome powers of the Space Bar to hatch the egg. Unlike last time, it takes much longer than a mere 30 seconds to hatch. A lot longer, probably a couple minutes. Anyway, it hatches into an Igglybuff. I am once more disappointed, though for all I knew it could have been a Magikarp in there, so I guess it's better than nothing. However, I am once more unable to come up with a nickname. I couldn't even come up with anything close. Actually, as I type this, I just thought that maybe Puff would have worked, seeing as the Jigglypuff like puffs, but too late for that since I decided to just throw it into my PC, never to be used again. Shortly afterwards, I find a wild Jigglypuff on the same route. Why did thy give me an Igglybuff egg on the same route I can catch Jigglyuff on? It makes no sense at all.

And now the real fun begins. The Gym Leader of this town has the infamous Miltank that will destroy any Pokemon in your party in only a couple hits. But for the first time ever, I am prepared. I have Whomp with me, but he's only Lv 19 at the time. So I decide that the best way to do this is to only use Whomp to defeat every trainer possible until I fight Whitney. Lucky for me, many of the trainers here use Electric and Fire Pokemon. Yay easy EXP! While disposing of the trainers on Route 35, Whomp tries to learn Selfdestruct. At first, I'm like Hellz Yeah! Then I remember this is a Nuzlocke challenge and that would be a bad idea. After all the trainers are done begging for mercy, I encounter a wild Psyduck! I capture it and once more struggle to think of a nickname. But this time I know I've seen a duck somewhere, I just know it! Using the power of the interwebz, I find what I was looking for. Dangerous Ducks are enemies in Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3. Dangerous Duck is of course too long of a nickname, but the Mario Wiki article states that is it often abbreviated to D.D., so I nickname him D.D., and then get him out of the PC and put Bubba in.


Isn't he epic looking?



I decide to train Kamek here for a bit, but only raise him from Lv 12 to Lv 16 before getting bored, and then I start training Whomp since he's close to evolution. Once he evolved, I go into Nation Park and get a Quick Claw from some fool who thinks she's in school but she's not cool and give it to Whomp. I decide not to take my chances with the Big Catching contest and I encounter a wild Spinarak, which I name Pider after I catch it. Hooray for an easy nickname to come up with! Next I defeat all the trainers here and I'm on my way. At some point Whomp tried to learn Harden, so for lulz I deleted Defense Curl for it. I then reach Route 36 and finally encounter a Hoothoot! I rejoice because Hoothoot is a Pokemon I wanted from the start. But wait! Closer inspection reveals that this Hoothoot is only Lv 4!



I am stricken with rage once more! WTF is this Lv 4 Hoothoot doing here this late in the game!? I remember in Gold and Silver, there were other wild Pokemon here, of a much higher level! I've been jipped! It may be weak, but I want it anyway! My Pokemon are far too powerful to weaken it, and I forget that Kamek has Hypnosis to put it to sleep, so I just throw a Great Ball and catch it. I nickname it Hoot, in reference to Hoot the Owl from Super Mario 64, and go back to Goldenrod City to battle the trainers in the Underground. That's two easy nicknames in a row! I'm on a roll now! I defeat them easily with Whomp, and get a Coin Case. I then head for the Game Corner to check out the available Pokemon, hoping Dratini is an option like in Gold ans Silver. It's not. Instead, it's f**king Wobuffette, who will not make this Nuzlocke Challenge easy at all. But I see Cubone on the list, and decide to get it. I forget what the other option was, but Cubone was obviously far superior. Since I still have not bought anything at this point aside from 10 Great Balls, I am easily able to afford enough coins for Cubone and I nicknamed it Dry Bones, referencing the skull on it's head. I had to remove Dangerous Duck from my party to get Dry Bones, so I just let him stay with me while I go take on Whitney.



I make quick work of all the trainers inside, heal up at the Pokemon Center, and go back to face Whitney. By this time, Whomp is Lv 28, so I know I got this. Whomp OHKOs Clefairy with Rock Throw, and Miltank comes out. Miltank makes the first move with Stomp, but Whomp shakes it off taking little damage from it. I use Rock Throw, and it does just a little less than 50% damage to Miltank. On the next turn, Whomp's Quick Claw kicks in and Whomp KOs Miltank with Rock Throw. I don't know why it did so much more damage than last turn without being a critical hit, but I don't question it as Whomp levels up to Lv 29, and I declared the winner. Of course, Whitney won't accept that her Miltank was bested so easily, and she cries like a baby. Forgetting that she never gave me my badge, I try to leave but I am stopped by a trainer, who explains that Whitney is just a cry baby pansy who can't stand to lose. I talk to her again and she gives my badge and, surprise surprise, another useless TM. I'm glad this is finally over with because now I have a lot of training to do. Everyone has fallen very far behind Whomp because of this whole ordeal, and while I don't intend to train them all that much, I need to get all my Pokemon up to at least Lv 20 to match Mario and Sir Swoop. Petey, Bubba, and Rat Funk are all Lv 18, so they're close, but Hoot is only Lv 4, Dangerous Duck is Lv 13, Pider is Lv 14, Dry Bones is Lv 15, and Kamek is Lv 16, so it's going to take a while to train them. Good thing I have access to the Day-Care now. Oh, and Big Berth is still just Lv 8, but I am still undecided about whether I'm going to use her or not.AND! As I was editing my post with all my Pokemon, I added in Igglybuff and noticed that it knows Dizzy Punch! I may actually use it now simply because I like this attack, but if I do it's only Lv 5 so it needs a lot of training too. It's also Shiny!

To start off I went to the Department Store to buy each of the Elemental Punches because I forgot to earlier. I then begin my training. While training, I put Hoot into the Day-Care for a while and focus on my other Pokemon. Once I have trained Dry Bones and Dangerous Duck to Lv 20, and have trained Pider 2 levels, I rememred that Hoot was still in the Day-Care and hurry to get him out before they end up deleteing a move I want. I get back Hoot, who is now Lv 13, which works out good since the wild Pokemon on Route 35 are Lvs 11-13, and saved because I had to leave. When I came back I finished training Hoot, Rat Funk, Pider, and Kamek to Lv 20, and I then decide to teach Dangerous Duck Ice Punch. If he's still alove when I reach the Elite 4, Dangerous Duck will destroy Lance with a combination of Surf and Ice Punch. I then went to get the next group of Pokemon out of my PC. So far, so good, as for once, nothing foolish is happening.

I withdraw Petey and Bubba from my PC, and then I decide that I will train Big Bertha, Igglybuff, and Togepi as well, just in case someone dies and I need them. I decide to nickname my Igglybuff Ruff Puff, at leat for now, and suddenly I come up with a nickname for Togepi. Jr. Troopa. I facepalm, as it seems so obvious now, especially since I rcently restarted the origional Paper Mario. I may change it's name later though, since when it evoles it won't be wearing an egg and thus will not look as much like Jr. Troopa. Anyway, I begin my training, and I decide not to put Ruff Puff and Jr. Troopa into the Day-Care because I want their happiness to increase by being with me. I'm not 100% sure that Ruff Puff evolves via happiness, but my Internet has been down since Monday so I can't check to make sure, so I'm writing this in Notepad in case I forget what happened.

So the training begins, and it's a long, greuling process. I start with Jr. Troopa who, with it's lack of attacking moves, is very annoying to train, because I gave to send it out, then switch to either Big Bertha, Bubba, or Petey to KO. At least I was training multiple Pokemon at once this way, and Big Bertha was only Lv 8 so it would make it easier to train her later. Even once Jr. Troopa is Lv 15+ it's difficult because it only has Metronome. I tried actually fighting with him but Metronome often gaves me attacks like Focus Energy, so I go back to what I was doing. Fortunatly I don't find doing this very annoying, and I eventualy get him to Lv 20 and begin with Ruff Puff.

I do the same with Ruff Puff, but only until it's Lv 10 or so, because with Dizzy Punch it can now fend for itself. But then, something horrible happens. Something almost as bad as when I deleted Petey's Vine Whip attack. Almost. Around Lv 15, I forget what level exactly, Ruff Puff tried to learn Sweet Kiss. And I accidentally deleted Dizzy Punch.



Damn you, foolishness! I was doing so good to, but you just had to come back and ruin that, didn't you! I rage and panic, and without even thinking about it I resume playing from the last time I saved, which was all the way back when I got Hoot out of the Day-Care. I could have let it go, but Dizzy Punch is such a good move. And it's not like Petey where he'll eventually learn Razor Leaf, there is no upgraded version of Dizzy Punch. Besides, it's too late now. I deicde to once again consult the powers of the Space Bar to re-do everything, and eventually get back to where I was, and keep going, getting Jr. Troopa, Ruff Puff, Big Bertha, Petey, and Bubba to Lv 20.

So I go to the PC and get out the team I intend to use when I face Morty so I can train it, which is Mario, Sir Swoop, Jr. Troopa, Ruff Puff, Dry Bones, and Dangerous Duck. I'm using Jr. Troopa and Ruff Puff for two reasons. Because they're Normal Type, they can't be hurt by the draded Shadow Ball attack. Though I think Ghost is Physical before 4th gen so it reallly shouldn't do much anyway, but I'm not taking chances. I could also teach Jr. Troopa Mud-Slap for a Super Effective/accuracy lowering combination. Also because if they're with me, instead of in the PC, their happiness will increase. Dangerous Duck knows Confusion, Sir Swoop knows Bite, and Dry Bones knows Bone Club, which will also all be Super Effective. Dry Bones also has a high Defense to help him against the Phsycial Shadow Ball attack. And Mario simply because he's Mario.

I go the the flower shop and get the Squirtbottle I was told about earlier, and head for Route 36. Once there, I use the Squirtbottle on the odd tree, and it attacks me! The tree turns out to be a cleveryly disguised Sudowoodo, and at first I intend to caprute it, until I remember that I'm still on Route 36 and I already caught something here. so I KO it with Dry Bones, and go on my way. I go to the right and talk to the fat guy who was starting obsessivly at Sudowoodo before, and he gives me Rock Smash for a job well done. I then go back north to Route 37, and I spotted some tallk grass, and decide to check it out. For some reason it takes a while, but finally a wild Pokemon appears and it's a Lv 15 Pidgey. I easily capture it and nickname it Kelpto, and that means that the last 4 Pokemon I caught I was able to easily come up with nicknames for! After the battle, I take a few steps and suddenly, I"M BLIND AAAAHHHH!!!! Oh wait, it's just daytime now. I was playing at night before, and apparently it turns into daytime at 4 AM. My eyes finally adjust to my suddently insanely bright screen, and I continue on my path, defeating the Twins and the Psyhic on the way to Ecruteak City, and saving my game so I can take a break.

I entered the PokeCenter in Ecruteak and someone comes down from upstairs and talks to the nurse, then tells me that I can now use the Time Capsule to trade with the past. But if I trade anything that didn't exist in the past, the space-time continuum would overload and destroy us all, and then leaves for his home in Goldenrod. Baffled, I heal my Pokemon then chase after him to give him a piece of my mind. He made absolutely no sense at all. How can you possibly tell me that all these Pokemon in Jhoto just suddenly appeared out of nowhere? People have been living here their whole lives, and you expect me to beleive no one has ever seen a freaking Hoothoot or even a Sentret until recently? Impossible! I reached his house and explain to him that his theory is flawed on many accounts, and he admits defeat, giving me an Eevee that some poor fool accidentally traded through time while Bill was finished the Time Capsule. I decide I'll nickname it later, once I know which Eeveelution I want. I'm leaning towards Jolteon or Umbreon right now, since they're my favorites, and I don't have an Electric Type, and there are no Dark Types  to catch until you get to Kanto (kinda ironic since Dark types weren't introduced until 2nd Gen).

I went back to Ecruteak City and enter a small building with some girls dancing inside. There's a Pokemon in the middle of the building, which turns out to be a Rhydon, and man tanding near it. He tells me that he has challenged the dancers to many Pokemon battles in the past, but he and his Rhydon can never win, but if I win, he'll give me a prizeTo be honest, I'm scared. Rhyhorn doesn't evolve until Lv 55 or something, so if he couldn't win, how can I? Nevertheless, I challenge them anyway! They all just had once of the Eeveelutions, at Lv 17, and I disposed of them easily. Even Jr. Troopa and Ruff Puff were able to take one down on thier own. This guy must be an awful trainer if he couldn't win with a Rhydon. The old man gives me Surf, which is for once a not-so-useless prize, and I leave. I heal my Pokemon, and head for the Gym. Once inside, some green old dude literally pushes me out and tells me Morty, the Gym Leader, is not here, so I can't challenge him. Dissapointed, I head north and discover the Burned Tower.

Once inside, a man named Eusine greets me, and tells me there is a Legendary Pokemon, Suicune, here. I investigate, and run into a wild Koffing. I captured it and named it Poison Puff. Poison Puff however was one character too long, so I shortened it to PSN Puff. As I explore the tower, I find Fool. He goes on about how I'm weak or something, I wasn't really listening to him because it's the same crap every time, and he challenges me to a battle. His team is similar to last time, only he added a Magnemite, so I easily take him down. Croconaw was, again, the only issue without any Grass attacks, but he still was defeated easily. Fool then tells me this is why he hates challenging wimps like me, because there's no challenge in it. He must have thought he was me in that battle because it certainy was no challenge for me, while he was struggling to do anything at all. Oh Fool, will you ever stop being so foolish? Anyway, out not-so-intense-battle somehow opened up a hold in the floor, and I fell through. I spot three Pokemon standing there who, once I approached them, run off in different directions. One of them circles around me for a bit before running off, and I begin to leave only to be stopped bu Eusine, who tells me that was Suicune, and he was jizzing in his pants like a school-girl because he saw it's blur running by. Oh what a fool, imagine how upset he'd be if I told him Suicune stopped right in front of me. He runs off before I can tell him this, and I too leave.

I go back the to Gym and easily dispose of all the trainers, but I don't face Morty just yet as I remembered that his Gengar also has Dream Eater, and panic. I have nothing that can beat it now, because AI cheats and gives everyone but you 100% accuracy with Hypnosis, and and Gengar will be faster than everyone, even my recently evolved Sir Swoop, who is weak to Psychic attacks anyway. Basically, I'm screwed. So it's decided, I will have to get an Umbreon. I can always catch a Magnemite on the next route anyway so Jolteon will not be neccesay. The only problem is, it's day time. I'll now have to wait several hours before I can get an Umbreon, and there's still the matter of maxing out his happiness. Curse you foolishness, you never go away, do you?

So I begin my training, but I do not start by training Eevee. I put him into my party so his happiness will slowly build up, and I also bring along Sir Swoop, Ruff Puff, and Jr. Troopa since they also need to evolve by happiness. F**K you happiness evolutions. Not only that, but I want to wait so that he can earn as many of Umbreon's moves as possible, and since my internet is still down, I can't check to see when that will be. So I start with Poison Puff and Kelpto by training on Route 37. Poison Puff only knows Tackle, Smog, and Poison Gas, so training him is not easy, and it doesn't help that every Growlithe I find uses Roar, and the wild Pidgeys and Pidgeottos spam Sand-Attack, but he slowly levels up anyway. While here, I even ecounter Entei! Not that I can catch it anyway since I already found something on Route 37, and it just flees before Poison Puff can attack. Jerk.

Because I have to keep switching to Klepto to keep Poison Puff from dieing, Kelpto eventually evolves and I decide to try a different training area where Poison Puff needs to assistance. I deicde to try the cave, apparently named Mt. Mortar, off to the right of Ecruteak and inside all I seem to be finding is Zubat, Golbat, Rattata, and Raticate, so it works out great. As I explore the cave, I suspect that I may have never been in here before because it doesn't look familiar. In Gold and Silver I thought you needed Flash in this cave, but maybe I was wrong. Eventually I find another exit to the cave and I'm back on Route 42. I skipped the trainers here and went right for the tall grass, where I found a Lv 16 Fearow and caught it, naming it Radonkel. ZOMG 5 for 5 now. I then travel north just to try find another wild Pokemon here and I encounter a Venomoth, and catch it as well. But this time I am struggling to come up with a nickname. But then I recall that in Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story there are Snifits with wings that come to help the Flifits. This is unfortunately the best I can come up with, however, I don't know what they're called and I can't find a name for them, so decide to name Venomoth Snifly. Yay for lack of creativity.

Anyway, I go back to the cave and try to level up Sir Swoop to see if he'll evolve and, he doesn't. And if Sir Swoop doesn't have enough happiness to evolve yet, there's no way the rest of my Pokemon will, so I go back to Ecruteak, but on my way out of the cave I find something new! It's a Machop, and I almost end up KOing it with one of Sir Swoop's Bites, but it lives and I catch it, naming it Macho Grubba. I then try going west of Ecruteak to look for more Pokemon and catch a Magnemite, naming it Watt.

Afterwards, I just train my new Pokemon, Radonkel, Snifly, Macho Grubba, and Watt, and wait for my Pokemon's happieness to increase. Once they are trained to my liking, Lv 20-21 like the rest of my Pokemon, I examine my PC and take another look at who I have to face Morty. I definately want Umbreon, but I still only have an Eevee. Watt's resistances to both Ghost and Psychic will come in handy, and it now knows Thunder Wave which will help me cripple that Gengar. Hoot is now in for his immunity to Ghost, I'll just need to get him to learn Confusion first. Dangerous Duck is of course still in this as well, but I'm unsure who else to take. Morty is going to be a bigger problem than Whitney. I need Umbreon or I may not come out of this without losing any Pokemon. While training my chosen Pokemon, I encountered a Shiny Rattata! Too bad that this is a ROM and a 2nd gen game, otherwise I would catch it.

Finally, my Internet is working so I can check out when Eevee and Umbreon will learn certain moves. Eevee will learn Bite at Lv 30, which Umbreon will not, so I decide to start training Eevee as is, for now. I suppose it's also time to give it a nickname, but once again, I draw a blank. But I'll think of something eventually.

The training begins, and it just seems to drag on... And on... And oh there's Raikou! And on... Until finally, Eevee evolves! Just kidding. Though I did level up Ruff Puff to see how high it's happiness was for reference, and it evolved! Yay! Next I try Jr. Troopa, who also evolves! Sir Swoop follows, so now only Eevee is left. So the wait goes on... And on.. And on... And there's Raikou again! But this time Eevee has quick attack so I actually get to do some damage to it before it runs, not that it does a lot. And it still goes on... And it's Entei again! And then Eevee reaches Lv 29. I now stop training so I can evolve it at Lv 30 so it learns Bite and Confuse Ray, so I ride my back back and forth in a pathetic attempt to increase it's happiness. After about an hour of rapidly pressing left and right while watching TV to pass the time, I go level it up, and it evolves! Finally! I hate happiness evolutions.